In the early 1970s, buried in one of his books, Dr Seuss penned a little known essay on auditing. For those not familiar with it, the full text follows:
Oh, the jobs people work at!
Out west near Hawtch-Hawtch
there’s a Hawtch-Hawtcher Bee-Watcher. His job is to watch…
is to keep both his eyes on the lazy town bee. A bee that is watched will work harder, you see.
Well… he watched and he watched. But, in spite of his watch,
that bee didn’t work any harder. Not mawtch.
So then somebody said,
“Our old bee-watching man
just isn’t bee-watching as hard as he can.
He ought to be watched by another Hawtch-Hawtcher!
The thing that we need
is a Bee-Watcher-Watcher!”
The Bee-Watcher-Watcher watched the Bee-Watcher.
He didn’t watch well. So another Hawtch-Hawtcher
had to come in as a Watch-Watcher-Watcher!
And today all the Hawtchers who live in Hawtch-Hawtch are watching on Watch-Watcher-Watchering-Watch,
Watch-Watching the Watcher who’s watching that bee.
You’re not a Hawtch-Watcher. You’re lucky, you see!”
Words of wisdom from an unlikely source. And for a little amusement, Elm takes Seuss a little further.
We decided to try our own hand at rhyme
And update the story to these current times.
Auditors watch the things clients do
And also suppliers when they’re in scope too.
They see if the list of everything bought
Was made in conditions just like it was thought
Or from those hoping they’re not getting caught.
The Hawtch-Hawtch bee watcher failed as you know
Since audits alone don’t work, we shall show.
What can we learn from those watching the bee?
I see two things – well, actually three.
The bee – when watched – was supposed to work more
But that’s not what bee itself had in store.
Instead what it did was kept right on doing
Not a thing – the watcher was just cud-chewing.
The town of Hawtch-Hawtch thought things would be fine
As long as an auditor watched all the time.
That, my dear friends, is flaw number 1 –
Audits alone are but one part of the fun,
After the watching, there’s more to be done.
The next wrong expectation in this story I find
Is the scope of the watching is not well defined.
What does it mean to “Watch as hard as you can?”
The watchers weren’t sure – down to the last man.
Had they been told, they could do the job well
And not let past problems fester and swell.
Today, what of CSR, governance and sustainability?
The words are unclear – I think they’re meant to be.
No clarity was given those Hawtch Hawtch bee watchers
So they all failed, got sore feet and bad postures.
And now, my beloved, we’re at flaw number three
Which is simply bad audit and auditor quality.
Bad bee watching – at least supposedly so –
Made the line of watch-watchers grow – grow – grow
That perpetuated the flaws that all went before
Meaning Hawtch-Hawtch kept getting more, more and MORE
Of the same watch watchers already there
Who did nothing more than stare, stare and stare
At the same old thing day after day,
Focused on billable hours, bonus and pay.
Most of them ranked low and were unqualified
To be a watch watcher – they weren’t certified.
Maybe because that would cost a bit more
Than the ineffective work that had been done before.
But Hawtch-Hawtch didn’t care to look into this
Not concerned with things that were possibly missed.
Now Hawtch-Hatwch is not a maker of stuff
That uses slave labor and treats their folks rough
And whose business will shrink when good auditors see
What unscrupulous companies do with glee.
In sum, Seuss told us of things one through three
These things – for auditing – are important and key.
But, I say friend, don’t take it from me
Go back and look that old Hawtch-Hawtch bee.